ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
