OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
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I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
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That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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