She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
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I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
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