I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
