if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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