when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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