first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
