My brain says no but my pants say off.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
