Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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