i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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