part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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