Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
