I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Dear god my vagina.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
