Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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