Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
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