Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
