i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
