I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Randomize
