I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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