Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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