She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
