That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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