Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
