I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
