sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
