she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
