allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
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