To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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