Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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