i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
