Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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