three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize