hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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