Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
