Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
