This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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