There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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