she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
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