living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I wish there were birth control emojis
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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