Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
