yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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