You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize