So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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