Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
