Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Randomize
