The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
