I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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