Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
