The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
She is in my trunk
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Randomize
