PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
