am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
