I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
