yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
